A Sudden Change in Plans

I don't want to talk about this because I want to be happy with where I am right now, but it all needs to be said:

A lot has been going on the past few weeks, and God has definitely been keeping me on my toes. As you know, I have been having some health issues lately, and a good portion of them I have dealt with throughout my life. I didn't think of it as that big of a deal because I'm used to it. It all got worse. The sisters in my district, along with my mom all kind of made me promise to see a doctor. Since then, they have come up with no new information, and they don't know how to help me. I saw the MTC doctor again this past Monday, and when I told him that I had a rough weekend, even after trying what he and others suggested, he was worried. The GI specialists wanted to do an endoscopy and/or colonoscopy if things didn't improve. Even then, it made no sense to squeeze it in and then have me sent off to Hungary next week.

As of this last Monday evening, I found out that I was going to be sent home either Tuesday or Wednesday. I can't say that the possibility never crossed my mind, but I always think of all the possible outcomes. I like to be prepared. Well, despite that, it was not at all what I expected, and it all happened fast. SO fast.

The short version is, they want me to spend some time at home trying to figure things out, get medically cleared, and then they will figure out what to do next. I am also released as a full-time missionary for the time being.

Coming home is not what I was expecting or hoping for, but I do love my family so much. It is amazing to see them, and then to see my brother Tim instead of waiting the full 3.5 years we thought it would be (since he just came home from his mission in Seoul Korea 2 weeks ago). Even before coming home, I could see so many blessings and opportunities in all of this. I can’t stay too sad because I know that there’ll be more blessings I won't even realize until looking back. I am doing good, but you know, REALLYYYY wanting to be in Hungary.

Ahh, I feel bipolar! One minute I'm sad and crying and the next I feel comforted by being with my family. If you can't tell already, I'm doing my utmost to see the blessings and the positive, but it really is rough. This has all happened so fast that I haven't been able to process it. I think my emotions don't know what to feel.

Szeretlek titeket (I love you all),
Sara

PS
Again, nagyon bocsi (very sorry) for not answering emails in forever. It has been crazy.

MTC Week 8

Okay, everyone buckle up, because this is going to be a bumpy ride!

The MTC is straight heaven. I am convinced that it is the closest thing to heaven other than the temple, or a Christ-centered home. My district and my teachers were literally heaven sent and none of this is a coincidence. We are all foreordained to serve where we were called. We have grown in our love for each other and the people of Hungary more than I ever thought possible. Each member of our district has played a crucial part in my growth and learning here at the MTC. I can’t imagine going through any of it without them. They have shown me a little taste of what the love of our Heavenly Father is like for each of us.

Here comes the juicy stuff…. I am now a solo Hungarian missionary. Which means that I am the only missionary in the MTC learning Hungarian. This past week or so has been VERY crazy with all that has happened. So August 19th was my district’s departure date, which is one week earlier than originally planned, because transfers somehow got messed up (not a coincidence, the Lord knows what he’s doing). I found out in the last week or so that I may be delayed for two weeks, for some health issues.

For most of that time, I had no idea if it was actually going to happen! It has been hanging over my head the entire time. Finally, on Friday of last week, I found out for sure that I was being delayed for two weeks. Believe me, it was so difficult to not be able to go out with my district, all the while not knowing one bit as to what would happen with me! I am a planner, and I love to mentally prepare myself for things. When there are schedule surprises, or I am in the dark as to what I can do to prepare or do my part, IT IS SO HARD.

Needless to say, there were some emotional moments during the course of the past week and a half. I have truly felt such peace throughout it all, despite all of the confusion. My district and all of the MTC faculty who have worked with me have been extremely supportive and compassionate. Honestly, I think they empathized with me more than I did for myself. I was working so hard to make sure I was doing what I could do (maybe even stressing about it, I know, it's crazy to imagine me worrying or stressing, huh), and I was so busy with everything else that I didn’t really have time to be down. I knew it was a bummer not to go out into the field with my district, but I don’t think staying was the biggest deal to me. I didn’t like being in the dark in regards to my future, and I wanted more than anything, not to be a burden or a hindrance to anyone else! I was worried about the poor souls that would be paired with me and have to be dragged along everywhere I needed to go for doctors and such. My branch president, the scheduling assistant, and many other MTC leadership were extremely helpful and loving in this crazy transition for me. They were the ones who had me tearing up with their sympathy, and I was trying to stay strong, ah!

Anywayyyyy, on Monday the 19th, I helped my district pack up and held doors for them as they left for the airport. They were all yelling out sweet things to me, and I later found letters from all of them to wish me the best and say goodbye (best district ever, those notes will always be precious to me). From that point, and continuing into the next few days, I was running back and forth across the MTC, going to appointments and meetings with different leaderships in an attempt to figure out what on earth was going to happen with me.

By the end of Monday, I was made companions with the branch’s Sister Training Leaders, Sister Issertell and Sister Oldham! They are a part of one of our German districts and THEY ARE AMAZING. So now I am a Sister Training Leader myself, and I get to share in the responsibilities! They have been such a help to me in the couple of days we’ve been together and so patient with all of the miscommunication we have had to deal with in regards to my situation. They ask me all the time how I am doing, and if I’m okay.

Honestly, I feel wonderful! I have felt brighter and more joyful than ever. I think it is a result of my need to truly rely on and trust in the Lord. I have been gaining a hope that even if I can’t see what comes out of all of this craziness, that there is a reason for it all. He has a plan for me and He really is guiding my every step.

We had a devotional last night by Elder David A. Bednar… the first apostle to come and speak to us in my nearly 9 weeks!!! (Sorry to all my Hungarian buddies that just left the day before!) So, I can’t remember if I have mentioned this, but on Sunday evenings, they used to have films play after the devotional, and I went to “The Character of Christ” by Elder Bednar every single time (until they changed it to district devotional review instead of films). So in total, I saw this talk by Elder Bednar six times! I wanted it drilled into my brain, hahah. So naturally, when I found out that he was our speaker, I was giddy!

He was incredibly personal and sincere throughout his talk. He stopped a few times to say things like  “I’m not trying to capture your attention, I just want to talk with you” “I wish I could do this with you individually or in small groups” “This is for you, not the crowd, not everyone around you, just YOU.” From this, you can tell that what he was speaking about was terribly important to him. He started out by saying that, as apostles --the others and himself-- they are constantly seeking the Lord’s voice and guidance. He shared that the most asked question of the apostles is “How do I know if it’s just me or the Spirit?”. Sound familiar? I’ve shared this with you all before. He then shared stories from his own life where he or others didn’t realize they were being influenced by the Spirit. He shared the story of Nephi in the beginning of the Book of Mormon going to get the plates. He had to try three times before he was successful. Do you know why? Because it wasn't until the third attempt that he went in without a plan, and was entirely vulnerable to the guidance of the Lord. Here is what he wrote about that third try:

“And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do… Nevertheless I went forth” 1 Nephi 4:6-7

Elder Bednar then said “THAT IS HOW IT WORKS.” We are not aware of the Spirit’s constant companionship, and we don’t always know when we are used as the Lord’s instruments to answer prayers and do His work! Elder Bednar said that there is a reason that Nephi’s experience with this is at the beginning of the Book of Mormon. We need to hear it the most! Nephi didn’t stop to take time and understand every detail of the way the Spirit came to him or guided him. He didn’t hold himself back when He didn’t fully understand what he was to do. In fact, he WENT FORTH when he had NO IDEA what he was to do.

Here’s one of Nephi’s most famous quotes from 1 Nephi 3:7 “...I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded...” SEE! It’s everywhere. Here’s the rest of the verse:  “...for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

The inspiration we are searching for comes as we act and GO FORTH. All we have to do is “Keep our covenants by remembering Christ always, keep His commandments, and be a good girl and a good boy.” as stated by Elder Bednar.

“Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss” (Doctrine and Covenants 80:3). We need to QUIT WORRYING about every little detail. Elder Bednar said “If your feet are moving, and you are pressing forward, you are doing it right!” Trust him, and even more so TRUST IN THE LORD.

This was the perfect message for me that night. I had been going through a lot of searching on the topic of the Holy Ghost and understanding it better --as I have shared with you previously-- and lately I have been dealing with a lot of confusion in regards to God’s plan for me, and what will come from my situation. I still don’t quite understand what the Lord has in store for me, but I have already experienced such love and support, and I can’t help but smile up at the heavens and know that He loves me as I am learning to trust Him more fully every day. I feel that this may even be a part of the reason that I needed to stay. I did need to hear Elder Bednar’s words, and I certainly needed to feel of his love, as well as Christ’s love through him. I just need to continue to GO FORTH despite my lack of understanding!

I challenge you all to STOP WORRYING (if you are), and TRUST in the Lord. Don’t get in the way by focusing on yourself. He will be on your right hand, and on you left. He will not leave you comfortless, He will come to you! As Elder Bednar stated; “BE GOOD, AND DO!”

I love you all, with my whole heart. Thank you for your prayers, support, love, messages and emails. So many of you knew just what I needed to hear. Thank you for listening to the Spirit and for reaching out to me. It means the world to me, and I have felt God's love through YOU.

Love,
Alger Nővér

PS
I am terribly sorry about not answering emails, it has been CRAZY, and I  promise I love you still! I really really love hearing from you. (:

Our last weekend in the MTC together as a district!

I sure love these beautiful sisters!

So much laughter, and some tears. Love them so much!!!

These incredible humans have been the best district EVER!

I can't wait to join them in Hungary!!!

Last day of classes with these awesome teachers!

Me and Durney Testver

Me and Hopwood Nover

My sweet MTC companion, Tyler Nover

Love her so much!

Tyler Nover, Squire Testver, and Me

My fabulous new companions

Sister Oldham, me, and Sister Issertell

MTC Week 7

Hello everyone!

I can’t even begin to express how excited and eager I am to head out for Hungary!! I have to say, the language has been difficult to learn for sure. It is a constant battle to keep up with all of our studies, diligence, and exact obedience. I know that each of us in the MTC (or out in the mission field, or in life at home) have had to deal with some amount of doubts, fears, or not feeling good enough for whatever reason. WE ALL FEEL IT. Let me clue you in on a little secret: Elder Packer, a previous member of the quorum of the twelve apostles said; “There is one emotion that we as the Quorum of the Twelve do not experience.” Curious? Well the answer is “Fear.” Fear and faith simply cannot exist simultaneously! Just like how we cannot follow the ways of the world and be a follower of Christ at the same time, we’re either facing one way or the other, and don’t forget that we can ALWAYS turn around." Chapter 6 in Preach My Gospel is all about Christlike attributes. Fear is nowhere to be found in that chapter!

Think about this moment in the New Testament:

Luke 8:23-24

23 But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on the lake; and they were filled with water, and were in jeopardy.

24 And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was a calm.

25 And he said unto them, Where is your faith? And they being afraid wondered, saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him.

How fearless would you have to be to sleep through such a storm while everyone else is frantic and fearing for their lives? Probably perfectly fearless, as we know Christ is the perfect example for us. No feeling of fear, doubt, or inadequacy is of God, remind yourself that every time you find yourself plagued with a feeling such as those.

 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

Our Heavenly Father wants nothing more than our eternal joy and salvation, He is on our side, He loves us and He loves YOU so perfectly and entirely that we will never be able to comprehend it. Keep moving forward --one step at a time if you have to-- but KEEP MOVING FORWARD. No fear, no doubt, trusting only in the Lord, and you’ll realize that He was carrying you all along.

I want to share with you all something powerful I have learned this past week. Practically all my life, I have been asking “How do I know if my thoughts or promptings are of myself, or of the Spirit of God?” I have never truly doubted the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that He Atoned for our sins and sorrows, or that He lives now and forever. BUT, understanding the Spirit and the way that it communicates to us individually, is something we all have to work for. In fact, it is a lifelong pursuit! This week has, in particular, shed some light on the subject.

Elder David A. Bednar said that the most asked question of the apostles is “How do you know if it’s the Spirit or just you?” (surprise surprise). Do you want to know what his response to that was? It was not really what I was expecting either! He said “QUIT WORRYING ABOUT IT.” It’s our second guessing that gets us! We need to have more trust and faith in the Lord. We need to have more faith and trust that He’s watching over us, and He knows what He’s doing. Of course we should seek the Spirit, but Elder Bednar was trying to get the point across that our worrying and doubting (<-- sound familiar?) will not help us! He said in order to have the Spirit, we must:

Press forward with faith in Jesus Christ

Be a good boy or girl

Honor our covenants

Keep the commandments

It’s as simple as that. In following those, we are able to have and invite the Spirit always. Elder Bednar also promised us wonderful blessings if we do follow those steps, and invite the Spirit:

Your steps will be guided

Your mouths will be filled

You’ll be in the right place at the right time, and you won’t even know how you got there!

There are no coincidences, there are no accidents. The Lord guides us every step of the way. Act on your spiritual promptings as Joseph Smith did when he read James 1:5 (If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.).

The Tuesday night devotional was by Elder Brent A. Nielson and his wife, Sister Marcia Nielson. Sister Nielson spoke first, and hit me the hardest. She focused on the Spirit, and told us a story about when she was deciding whether or not to marry Elder Nielson. This is what her father told her when she was struggling to know her answer:

“The Holy Ghost is in you like breathing. You’re breathing all the time. You don’t stop to think about how you’re breathing until your head is under water. You need to take time to stop, and listen, and realize.”

Elder Nielson also talked about the Spirit, and he said: “Asking where the Spirit is, is like a fish asking where water is.”

When those statements were made, the way the Spirit works in my life suddenly clicked in my mind! I know that growing up in the gospel can make it hard for a person to recognize the Spirit for what it is because they can have it so constantly, but somehow the words of dear Elder and Sister Nielson helped me understand even further. I feel that the combination of Elder Bednar’s, Elder Nielson’s, and Sister Nielson’s responses, complete each other perfectly in widening my Spiritual perspective. Worrying has maybe, possibly, at some point been a thing I’ve had work work on… Okay, you’ve got me, I’ve had to train myself well to control it. I feel like I’ve gotten a good rein on it now, but I know I can always do more. I sometimes get so caught up in trying to find every little aspect that I need to improve on, that it may be a negative thing at a point.

Szeretlek titeket!
Sister Alger

MTC Week 6

Hello all!

This week has been filled with such wonderful moments, as you may expect, with being surrounded by missionaries and the Spirit of the Lord. Everything from being offered $40 to eat a bowl of ice cream, and break my no sugar lifestyle, having Elder Medveczky, from Hungary, join our district, to being called on spontaneously by our  branch president, Pres. Henderson, to give a lesson about the language of the Spirit on the spot.

I bought a mini Book of Mormon that I've been using for reading, highlighting, and taking notes about the character, attributes, and perfections of Christ. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT SO FAR. It has already brought me closer to Him and it always makes my day brighter, ♫"for Jesus is my light"♫ --imagine me singing that line from There Is Sunshine In My Soul Today, hymn # 227. I have found that song in my head more than any other throughout my MTC stay. A close second or maybe even a tie is The Lord Is My Light # 89. I love having hymns stuck in my head, especially about the Savior. There is nothing else like being a missionary! I love it so much and I haven't even gotten out in the field.

Something that has stood out to me in my studies of the character of Christ is in 1 Nephi 24, 28, & 31. They talk about how Christ goes forth among the children of men, ministering unto the people in great power and glory, healing those afflicted in all manners. This spoke to me in particular because as I read, I was reminded of what an apostle said (or maybe I’m making this up... oh well, and I can’t remember who, heheh) but I think it was something like this: “When I finally get a moment to myself, it doesn’t last very long because I need to be out with the people! I need to love, teach, and serve, and I can’t do that if I’m at home!” At some moments in my life, I think I have tried to disappear from the world. But THE WHOLE POINT of this life is to reach OUT of ourselves. We are meant to reach outwards to others, and upwards to God. I simply cannot call myself a follower of Christ if I won’t risk the unfamiliar, the uncomfortable, and go out amongst the people to serve, love, and teach of Christ! I am incredibly eager and excited to go to Hungary and start doing so with the Hungarians.

We take on the name of Christ every week when we renew our sacramental covenants. Part of taking on His name, is taking upon ourselves His character, attributes, and perfections, BECOMING like Him. I hope to be able to take on His attributes more than ever before, and to continue to do so when I come home. I challenge you all to reflect on how you take upon yourself the name of Christ, especially as you partake of the sacrament each sabbath day. Becoming as Christ is like asking yourself to be perfect, and that can be overwhelming. Don’t forget that you have HIM to rely on. He LIVES, and not only does He live, but:

“He lives to bless us with his love.
He lives to plead for us above.
He lives our hungry souls to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.
He lives to grant us rich supply.
He lives to guide us with his eye.
He lives to comfort us when faint.
He lives to hear our souls’ complaint.
He lives to silence all our fears.
He lives to wipe away our tears.
He lives to calm our troubled hearts.
He lives all blessings to impart.”

(I Know That My Redeemer Lives, Hymn #136)

There is nothing like music to bring us closer to heaven. One of my most spiritual moments this week happened when we sang “I Know That My Redeemer Lives” at the end of a wonderful devotional given by Elder and Sister Clayton. I encourage you all to listen more closely to the words of hymns, and to feel the light and love of our Savior through those words, and through the music that fills your soul.

Thank you for all of your love and support, it means the world!

Szeretlek titeket!
(I love you!)

Alger Nővér

We still haven't gotten to attend the temple, it has been closed for cleaning and renovations for the last 2 months, but we got to go clean the temple on our last pday. It was such a cool experience. The sisters got to clean and assemble the crystal chandeliers!

Here is my district!

This one was secretly taken by my companion. Love her so much!